I am posting this, because a lot of people question why I said “cutting is stupid”.
This is my right arm.
This scar runs from just under my tattoo, to the middle of my forearm.
This almost killed me.
This is my biggest regret.I did this when I was fourteen. I am now almost 20. When I was in highschool I was bullied ridiculous amounts and I hated myself beyond belief. I never understood why the girls at school did not like me, so I didn’t like me either. Not only that, but my boyfriend at the time would hurt me, both physically and emotionally. I won’t go into extreme detail of what was happening at the time, but I felt hopeless, worthless. I was a kid, I didn’t know what to do, who to talk to about how I felt and I assumed being sad all the time would never go away. I wanted out, so I resorted to this. I made a mistake.
I could not be more disappointed in myself.6 years later, I don’t think I could be a happier person and all of my past is far behind me. People still try and bring me down now, my” best friends” turned on me. But I honestly could not care less. People who try bring you down are not worth your tears. Not worth your time. When people try to bring you down, it only means that you are above them.
Cutting is probably the most stupid decision a person can make, a long with committing suicide. Please, do not mistake me for thinking that I am saying that the people who do this are stupid, I do not think that at all, I just think the ACT is. I know as a teenager, life can be extremely hard and sometimes it feels like you won’t ever be happy. But we all go through that. We all go through tough times. They don’t last. Situations are temporary, but acts like this are permanent. I will forever have this scar on my wrist and you have no idea how much I wish it wasn’t there.
This is a big reason as to why I started making YouTube videos. My message in all my videos, no matter how silly they are, is always “Keep Smiling”. And my goal in life is to bring happiness to others. Not only to make them happy, but also the people they surround themselves with. I not only hurt myself when I did this, I hurt my family too. I scared them a lot. They put me through councelling sessions with a psychologist and she helped A LOT. So even if you don’t feel like you can turn to your friends or family, there are ALWAYS people out there to turn to, willing to listen to and help you, :)
This was extremely hard for me to write and believe me, I never ever wanted to let you guys in on this. I’ve never wanted to speak about my past. I never want to think about it. But I think it’s important that you know. I have a lot of young girls and boys who follow me or subscribe to me and look up to me. And I know a lot of them are unhappy with themselves. I use to be unhappy with myself too, but I got through that and now I couldn’t be more thankful or happy with the life I live and who I am. What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. Cliche, but it’s true. DON’T let the bad times grab hold of you to the point where you can’t find the brighter side. There is ALWAYS a brighter side to a situation, no matter how bad it is. You just have to put the effort to go looking for it. And it’s definitely worth that effort.
Please, no matter how hard times get, KEEP SMILING. Because life is a precious and beautiful thing and it’s up to YOU to make it amazing for yourself. :)
Don’t make the stupid mistake I did. You will regret it. Be strong, keep your head high and be proud of the person that you are. You are beautiful and amazing, no matter what other people say or what you think of yourself. :)- Kimmi Smiles.
p.s:
Now you know why I keep more bracelets on my right arm, and why I chose to tattoo the “Smile.” on my right wrist.
p.p.s:
I love you guys :)
